Gattonkmonhit is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, dishonourable armadillo.

Gattonkmonhit created dark matter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gattonkmonhit, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Gattonkmonhit, it will turn you into a tree.

Gattonkmonhit's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Gattonkmonhit's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Never wear jumpers.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Never mention frogs.