Flatxemcat Cabmobsterfunbastnurtgontin is a god.

He takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, all-powerful hydra.

Flatxemcat Cabmobsterfunbastnurtgontin created vertebrates four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flatxemcat Cabmobsterfunbastnurtgontin, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Flatxemcat Cabmobsterfunbastnurtgontin, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Flatxemcat Cabmobsterfunbastnurtgontin's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Flatxemcat Cabmobsterfunbastnurtgontin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about black holes.

2. Draw representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Erect a giant orange sculpture of Flatxemcat Cabmobsterfunbastnurtgontin in the centre of the settlement.

5. Do not eat bananas.