Yatflatwig is a god.

It takes the form of a giant, narcissistic squid.

Yatflatwig created the planet Jupiter five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Yatflatwig, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Yatflatwig, it will attempt to scare you with hail.

Yatflatwig's most sacred site is Borolong in Botswana.

Yatflatwig's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Yatflatwig.

2. Never think about chromosomes.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. Erect eight zinc sculptures of Yatflatwig on top of important buildings.

5. Run away from black bats, for they are unholy.