Gubquaghennab is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, dishonest guinea pig.

Gubquaghennab created Europe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Gubquaghennab, he will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Gubquaghennab, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Gubquaghennab's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Gubquaghennab's Holy Commandments

1. You must never eat coconuts.

2. Do not dye your hair brown.

3. Do not wear gray clothing.

4. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Gubquaghennab.