Kapgatgum Nadvid is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, blissful mongoose.

Kapgatgum Nadvid created matter three billion years ago.

If you believe in Kapgatgum Nadvid, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Kapgatgum Nadvid, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Kapgatgum Nadvid's most sacred site is Evol in France.

Kapgatgum Nadvid's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat green fruit.

2. Worship no other gods but Kapgatgum Nadvid.

3. Do not hurt nematodes.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.