Watlagsan is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, sage wolf.

Watlagsan created Africa twelve years ago.

If you believe in Watlagsan, he will be very happy.

If you do not believe in Watlagsan, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Watlagsan's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Watlagsan's Holy Commandments

1. Do not dye your hair fawn.

2. Pray towards the north.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Do not commit murder.