Nelhadjig Venflapdag is a god.

She takes the form of a six hundred metre long, loving crane.

Nelhadjig Venflapdag created viruses nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nelhadjig Venflapdag, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Nelhadjig Venflapdag, she will turn you into a duck.

Nelhadjig Venflapdag's most sacred site is Kauvatsa in Finland.

Nelhadjig Venflapdag's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of black holes on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

2. Never go into orange rooms.

3. Never think about special relativity.

4. Never think about thermodynamics near ducks while wearing mauve skirts and balancing nine gold spheres on your chest.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.