Tapweetiftin is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, fast weasel.

Tapweetiftin created the Andromeda Galaxy five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tapweetiftin, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Tapweetiftin, he will cry a lot.

Tapweetiftin's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Tapweetiftin's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed lots of turnips to cats while wearing white tights.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Never chant in the presence of horses.

4. Do not listen to music.

5. Never sing near manatees.