Cemjintarp is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, kind seal.

Cemjintarp created the solar system eighteen thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cemjintarp, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Cemjintarp, it will turn you into a goat.

Cemjintarp's most sacred site is Morella in Spain.

Cemjintarp's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Fast once a month.

3. Never think about special relativity near capybaras while wearing fawn shirts and balancing four silver spheres on your chest.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Cemjintarp must be the most important thing in your life.