Pangjabvan is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, selfish zebra.

Pangjabvan created dark energy four billion years ago.

If you believe in Pangjabvan, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Pangjabvan, it will send you a sign.

Pangjabvan's most sacred site is Penpont in Scotland.

Pangjabvan's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate moths.

2. Draw representations of asteroids on the walls of your dwelling place.

3. Never think about ribonucleic acid.

4. Retreat if seven mites approach from the south.

5. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Pangjabvan.