Pitquillquat is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, loving lizard.

Pitquillquat created a photon six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitquillquat, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Pitquillquat, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Pitquillquat's most sacred site is Xtul in Mexico.

Pitquillquat's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Always stare at clouds.

3. Never think about stars.

4. Worship no other gods but Pitquillquat.

5. Do not listen to music.