Sandfarnveg is a god.

She takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, proud clam.

Sandfarnveg created matter four years ago.

If you believe in Sandfarnveg, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Sandfarnveg, she will jump up and down on your head.

Sandfarnveg's most sacred site is Turckheim in France.

Sandfarnveg's Holy Commandments

1. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Sandfarnveg.

2. Never hurt gulls.

3. You must love Sandfarnveg.

4. Never feed turnips to porpoises while wearing jumpers.

5. Never write about cell theory.