Toflarglin is a god.

He takes the form of a three thousand metre long, duplicitous seal.

Toflarglin created vertebrates four billion years ago.

If you believe in Toflarglin, he will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Toflarglin, he will curse you and those you beget for all time.

Toflarglin's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Toflarglin's Holy Commandments

1. Do not speak about oranges.

2. Run away from turquoise birds, for they are unholy.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not drink water in gray rooms.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.