Nurvinfed Likbarnshav Badkinyik is a god.

It takes the form of a large, caring swallow.

Nurvinfed Likbarnshav Badkinyik created gold seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Nurvinfed Likbarnshav Badkinyik, it will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Nurvinfed Likbarnshav Badkinyik, it will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Nurvinfed Likbarnshav Badkinyik's most sacred site is Glastonbury Tor in England.

Nurvinfed Likbarnshav Badkinyik's Holy Commandments

1. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Never talk about dark matter.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Do not wear nickel on your body.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.