Jatmumsas is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, ruthless hyena.

Jatmumsas created humanity eight million years ago.

If you believe in Jatmumsas, he will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jatmumsas, he will have a low opinion of you.

Jatmumsas' most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Jatmumsas' Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Always wear purple.

3. Never talk about the strong nuclear force near geese while wearing green skirts.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Do not wear cyan clothing.