Nabqueegjig is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, self-confident wyrm.

Nabqueegjig created the Small Magellanic Cloud two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nabqueegjig, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nabqueegjig, she will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Nabqueegjig's most sacred site is Snapp in Sweden.

Nabqueegjig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Always pray in complete darkness.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Always make sure there are no turtles in a room before entering it.

5. Do not dye your hair purple.