Gar is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, unselfish ferret.

Gar created humankind six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Gar, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Gar, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Gar's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Gar's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about nebulae.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Do not wear silicon on your body.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not trade with those who eat beans.