Zenfoddon Caprigcet is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, egotistical warg.

Zenfoddon Caprigcet created an up quark six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Zenfoddon Caprigcet, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Zenfoddon Caprigcet, he will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Zenfoddon Caprigcet's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Zenfoddon Caprigcet's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Zenfoddon Caprigcet.

2. Never talk about dark matter.

3. Never feed strawberries to eagles while wearing orange coats.

4. Do not make images of living things.

5. Never look at galaxies.