Jipgofcimcit is a god.

She takes the form of a very heavy, impressive whale.

Jipgofcimcit created a strange quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Jipgofcimcit, she will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Jipgofcimcit, she will destroy your favourite planet.

Jipgofcimcit's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Jipgofcimcit's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at black holes.

2. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in blue.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Put Jipgofcimcit first in all things.