Hatfag is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, dishonourable jellyfish.

Hatfag created the solar system three million years ago.

If you believe in Hatfag, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Hatfag, she will not care at all.

Hatfag's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Hatfag's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate aardvarks.

3. Put Hatfag first in all things.

4. Never talk about cats.

5. Never look in ponds.