Arpdogbam Gutlidben is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, self-confident mouse.

Arpdogbam Gutlidben created Europe four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arpdogbam Gutlidben, she will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Arpdogbam Gutlidben, she will turn you into a giant snail.

Arpdogbam Gutlidben's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Arpdogbam Gutlidben's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no goats in a building before entering it.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Erect six silver sculptures of Arpdogbam Gutlidben on top of important buildings.

4. Run away from purple snails, for they are unholy.

5. Never talk about moons.