Gunlarnsiglik is a god.

He takes the form of a large, passionate beaver.

Gunlarnsiglik created the planet Saturn two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Gunlarnsiglik, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Gunlarnsiglik, he will send you a sign.

Gunlarnsiglik's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Gunlarnsiglik's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear blue.

2. Always treat gulls with great respect.

3. Never wear stockings.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Never talk about solid mechanics near frogs while wearing gray rings and balancing nine platinum spheres on your arms.