Zengetzan is a god.

She takes the form of a three thousand metre long, stupid yak.

Zengetzan created viruses six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Zengetzan, she will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Zengetzan, she will curse you with boils.

Zengetzan's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Zengetzan's Holy Commandments

1. Always help hamsters in need.

2. Never write about moons.

3. Always pray immersed in water.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.