Bancamton is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, kind owl.

Bancamton created Europe five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bancamton, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Bancamton, it will turn you into a snail.

Bancamton's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Bancamton's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least nine thousand metres per day.

2. Never write about dwarf planets.

3. Erect a giant tin sculpture of Bancamton in the centre of the settlement.

4. Erect three silicon sculptures of Bancamton on top of important buildings.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.