Witbundun is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, dishonest turtle.

Witbundun created a strange quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Witbundun, it will celebrate by creating some nebulas.

If you do not believe in Witbundun, it will name a particularly small and pointless asteroid after you.

Witbundun's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Witbundun's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about archaea.

2. Never look at comets.

3. Never wear scarves.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Do not commit murder.