Capnutweecuss is a god.

It takes the form of a two thousand metre long, unselfish shark.

Capnutweecuss created snails nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Capnutweecuss, it will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Capnutweecuss, it will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Capnutweecuss' most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Capnutweecuss' Holy Commandments

1. Capnutweecuss must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always help bats in need.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.