Rulkinlip is a god.

It takes the form of a five thousand metre long, selfish horse.

Rulkinlip created Europe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Rulkinlip, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Rulkinlip, it will attempt to scare you with earthquakes.

Rulkinlip's most sacred site is Omaweneno in Botswana.

Rulkinlip's Holy Commandments

1. Your children must be taught to worship Rulkinlip.

2. Never think ill of sick manatees.

3. Erect a large zinc sculpture of Rulkinlip on top of all buildings.

4. Never wear brown shirts.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.