Pingutmif is a god.

She takes the form of a rotund, omnipotent porpoise.

Pingutmif created everything that exists four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Pingutmif, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Pingutmif, she will turn you into an amoeba.

Pingutmif's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Pingutmif's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Always help horses in need.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. You must pray to Pingutmif five times a day.