Hasyartbem is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, self-assured butterfly.

Hasyartbem created a Higgs boson nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hasyartbem, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Hasyartbem, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Hasyartbem's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Hasyartbem's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt horses.

2. You must never eat oranges.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate aardvarks.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Never write about comets.