Gudwotkik is a god.

She takes the form of a plump, astonishing hamster.

Gudwotkik created dark energy four years ago.

If you believe in Gudwotkik, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Gudwotkik, she will turn you into a plant.

Gudwotkik's most sacred site is Quellendorf in Germany.

Gudwotkik's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never eat bark.

3. Gudwotkik loves birds, so they must be respected.

4. Never think about moons.

5. Never talk about fire.