Nartlistveg is a god.

He takes the form of a six hundred metre long, dishonest lizard.

Nartlistveg created the planet Saturn five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nartlistveg, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Nartlistveg, he will make you grow a tail.

Nartlistveg's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Nartlistveg's Holy Commandments

1. Always help pigs.

2. Do not dye your hair white.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never go into magenta rooms.