Quatkikdog is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, unthinking weasel.

Quatkikdog created Mount Everest nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Quatkikdog, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Quatkikdog, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Quatkikdog's most sacred site is Manna in Greece.

Quatkikdog's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your back blue.

2. Quatkikdog loves ants, so they must be respected.

3. Always make sure there are no sharks in a building before entering it.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate squirrels.