Fetkarcit is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, contented human.

Fetkarcit created the Sol system six billion years ago.

If you believe in Fetkarcit, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Fetkarcit, it will turn you into a hamster.

Fetkarcit's most sacred site is Auvillar in France.

Fetkarcit's Holy Commandments

1. Erect eight nickel sculptures of Fetkarcit on top of important buildings.

2. Always help swans in need.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never eat cucumbers.

5. Fetkarcit must be the most important thing in your life.