Flapkabril is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, dishonourable sheep.

Flapkabril created vertebrates eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flapkabril, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Flapkabril, he will turn you into a puffin.

Flapkabril's most sacred site is Finnmark in Norway.

Flapkabril's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about spacetime.

2. Do not drink water in magenta rooms.

3. Worship no other gods but Flapkabril.

4. Never think about dwarf planets.

5. Never run in the presence of monkeys.