Quamflyloptigfetvaddab is a god.

She takes the form of a very fat, unselfish hyena.

Quamflyloptigfetvaddab created a charm quark eight million years ago.

If you believe in Quamflyloptigfetvaddab, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Quamflyloptigfetvaddab, she will turn you into a tree.

Quamflyloptigfetvaddab's most sacred site is Cusihuiriachi in Mexico.

Quamflyloptigfetvaddab's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about dark energy near seals while wearing gray shirts and balancing seven zinc spheres on your neck.

2. Always make sure there are no horses in a building before entering it.

3. Never talk about quantum field theory.

4. Erect six carbon sculptures of Quamflyloptigfetvaddab on top of important buildings.

5. Never go into orange rooms.