Ripxucsat is a god.

He takes the form of a planet-sized, tiresome pig.

Ripxucsat created a strange quark nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ripxucsat, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Ripxucsat, he will not invite you to parties.

Ripxucsat's most sacred site is Brechfa in Wales.

Ripxucsat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not covet oxen.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

4. Never talk about foxes.

5. Never mention tortoises.