Jatruttcem is a god.

She takes the form of an extremely fat, ruthless zebra.

Jatruttcem created a bottom quark nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jatruttcem, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Jatruttcem, she will turn you into a sheep.

Jatruttcem's most sacred site is Ronda in Spain.

Jatruttcem's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no aardvarks in a room before entering it.

2. Do not kill ants.

3. Never talk about fire.

4. Do not speak about pineapples.

5. Do not wear iron on your body.