Jadkabsig is a god.

She takes the form of a minute, almighty porpoise.

Jadkabsig created viruses six billion years ago.

If you believe in Jadkabsig, she will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Jadkabsig, she will jump up and down on your head.

Jadkabsig's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Jadkabsig's Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat bread.

2. Never talk about sheep.

3. Never hurt badgers.

4. Never talk about comets.

5. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.