Tofcissten is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, fast cyclops-rhinoceros-snail.

Tofcissten created the Large Magellanic Cloud four million years ago.

If you believe in Tofcissten, it will visit you to thank you.

If you do not believe in Tofcissten, it will turn you into a frog.

Tofcissten's most sacred site is Hobeck in Germany.

Tofcissten's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not fashion models of living things.

3. Always obey Tofcissten's priests.

4. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Tofcissten.

5. Always make sure there are no gulls in a room before entering it.