Zagwegjen is a god.

She takes the form of a four hundred metre long, dishonourable tortoise.

Zagwegjen created the Milkyway seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zagwegjen, she will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Zagwegjen, she will strike you with lightening.

Zagwegjen's most sacred site is Ans in Denmark.

Zagwegjen's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from cyan seals for they are unholy.

2. Do not kill mice.

3. Never talk about thermodynamics near moths while wearing turquoise hats and balancing three lead spheres on your legs.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.