Flowtettinat is a god.

It takes the form of a large, all-knowing giraffe.

Flowtettinat created Asia three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flowtettinat, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Flowtettinat, it will be very unhappy.

Flowtettinat's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Flowtettinat's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat turnips.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Do not stand on grass.

4. Never look in ponds.

5. Do not dye your hair pink.