Xenbogrutren is a god.

He takes the form of a small, merciful raven.

Xenbogrutren created an electron nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Xenbogrutren, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Xenbogrutren, he will send twenty two thousand, three hundred, and seventy eight badgers to sort you out.

Xenbogrutren's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Xenbogrutren's Holy Commandments

1. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not wear orange clothing.

4. Do not cook food in pots.

5. Learn five new languages a year.