Geplensat Witdaptik is a god.

He takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, generous human.

Geplensat Witdaptik created an up quark six million years ago.

If you believe in Geplensat Witdaptik, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Geplensat Witdaptik, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Geplensat Witdaptik's most sacred site is Chilhac in France.

Geplensat Witdaptik's Holy Commandments

1. Never eat bark.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Geplensat Witdaptik.

3. Do not shave your legs.

4. Always help aardvarks in need.

5. Always help sick shrews.