Dummintonkpang is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, ruthless ferret.

Dummintonkpang created viruses six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dummintonkpang, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Dummintonkpang, she will have a low opinion of you.

Dummintonkpang's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Dummintonkpang's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

2. Never go into brown rooms.

3. Do not resist balance.

4. Retreat if four cats approach from the north.

5. Run away if eight capybaras approach from the south.